Restless

I can't seem to calm down. Settle down. Decide.


I want so many things out of life. I want to do so many things. Be so many things. How does one ever decide? I can't do them all. I have to choose. But how? And what?

It's amazing how many little decisions you make on a day to day basis, and how each of those little decisions add up to be the biggest ones. How one little thing can change your world.

Chipmunk Cheeks

Oh man, post wisdom teeth surgery SUCKS. I feel like a truck ran over my jaw.

So far I've; brushed too far back, bit my stitch, and now that my cheeks keep swelling, I keep biting them.

Oh, and I look like death. Score. Then all last night I kept having these horrible dreams and clenching my teeth.

But Steven has been an angel through it all. He took me to my surgery and has catered to me for 2 days now. What a wonderful man I seem to have found :]

L.O.V.E.

I was reading a conversation the other day that intrigued me. People were voicing there opinions on whether love was fate, if God had made one particular person for everyone, or if there may be an alternative. It got me thinking about this, because it's something I've always wondered but never gave much though to.

So what's the answer? In my opinion, we waste too much time thinking and not enough time loving. Why does it matter? What's important is that you've found someone you love who loves you as well. Maybe you weren't supposed to end up with them. Maybe there's someone you would have been just as happy with, or even happier. But we're never going to know that answer, so why dwell on it? I think that every couple wonders if they've made the right decision. After all, it's one of the biggest decisions you will ever make, and of course everyone wants to know that they got it right. But wouldn't our time be better spent focusing on loving the person we are with?

Everyone has flaws. And quirks. And habits that will annoy you to no end. No one is perfect. I think it's about figuring out what flaws you can live with and putting your energy into falling in love with them. No matter who you are, you're going to wonder if you've made the right choice at some point. And no matter who you are, your spouse is going to wonder if they might the right choice as well. Being on the other side, how does that make you feel? Would you want your significant other to spend their time wondering if you were the right choice? Or would you rather that they spend time searching for all of your amazing qualities?

Our world is in love with love, but we have no idea what to do with it.

Decision, Decisions

I hate making decisions. The big ones anyway. How are you ever supposed to know what's right? I hate that one single decision can change the course of your entire life.

I want to go to Calvin College. My semester at Ferris was a complete eye opener to everything I hate about college. I know that I would get so much more out of a Christian based school, and be able to give so much more back. I didn't feel like I was a part of Ferris. I felt like one of five thousand kids, simply blending into the background. That's not how it's supposed to be. I want to attend a college where my peers and educators share a common belief.

19 and Counting

Tomorrow marks the first day of my last semester as a single woman. It's funny, I keep finding these little "this is the last time.." things. I remember doing the same thing when I was a senior, but back then I was terrified. Don't get me wrong, I'm terrified about a lot of things. Getting married is never a walk in the park, and college certainly doesn't make it any easier. No matter where you are in life, getting married is a big step. Promising to love the same person until the day you die is a huge commitment. I've made that commitment once before, and so far I've stuck with Him through the good times and the bad :] And with Him by my side, I can make that commitment one more time.

I'm terrified. But not for the reasons some would expect. I'm afraid I won't be good at this. I'm afraid that I won't know how to prioritize, putting God first, Steven second and school third. But I'm not afraid of the rest. Life is an incredible journey, and this is one of the most eventful times in a person's life. So why wouldn't I want to spend this part with the person I'll be spending the rest of my life with? Some people think we're crazy. I think it's everyone else. 

19 weeks, and counting :]

Book Worm

I've decided to see how many books I can read during one of the busiest years of my life. To the right of my blog posts I've added "My 2011 Reading List" where I will continue to add books as I find ones I want to read. When I finish a book, it will have a strikeout through it.

Infectious Love

We take life too seriously. That's my honest opinion.

I feel like life is changing at such a rapid pace, and yet everything is staying exactly the same. I'd really like to know when life became all about money and status and how we look to someone else. Last I checked, money doesn't leave your mark on the world. Neither does having 600 Facebook friends or someone to text you every day. 

Love leaves a mark on the world. Love begins a legacy that will carry on. I want to be one of those people that just radiates love. I want people to look at me and think "how does one person fit so much love in a single body?" Why should anything else matter? 

You can't take money with you when you die. It can numb your pain for a day, but it can't fill emptiness.  

Philippians 4:11-13
For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances may be. I know now how to live when things are difficult and I know how to live when things are prosperous. In general and in particular I have learned the secret of eating well or going hungry of facing either plenty of poverty. I am ready for anything through the strength of the One who lives within me.

And where does swearing get you in life? I mean really. Do you not have the intelligence to come up with more than a whopping four letter word? 

James 3: 11-13 

Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.

I don't understand why it's so hard to love these days. To put someone else before yourself. No one is perfect, but we could all stand to try a little harder.